LENT | "Prayer"
Sermon Text
Discernment Through Prayer
[SLIDE 1] 1 John 5:14-15“This is the confidence we have inapproaching God: that if we ask anything according to God’s will, God hears us. And if we know that God hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of God.”
When I was 7, I really wanted a Barbie Townhouse.
[SLIDE 2]
It was the coolest toy I ever saw in my life! My best friend, Angie Jo Giacoma, lived a block away from me, in a gigantic
brick house, and it seemed like she had every Barbie accessory in the universe. I would go over there whenever I could, and we would play for hours. Angie Jo was amazing...first of all, she had an AWESOME first name! Secondly, she had the best smile, cute freckles and wavy red hair. And she was so fun to be around. I loved her parents too, who were always so nice to me...and always made me feel welcome in their home.
Well, when the Barbie Townhouse came out, I prayed to God that I would get one for my birthday. Sure, I knew I could always go over to Angie Jo’s to play with hers, but I wanted one for myself. I heard in church so many times “Ask and it shall be given” so I just knew my prayer for the Barbie Townhouse would surely be answered. My birthday came and went, so did Christmas, but alas, no Townhouse, despite my not so
subtle hints, prayers, etc. I’ve never gotten over it (let that be a lesson to you parents...make sure you get your child their dream toy, or they’ll be scarred for life)!
Do you remember the first time you sincerely prayed for something? Was it for a possession? Was it for someone to love you? For a job? Was it for the room to stop spinning after drinking way too much? (I don’t know anything about that last one, just heard it’s something that happens.)
[SLIDE 3] “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to God’s will, God hears us.”
A few years after my Barbie Townhouse debacle, my friend Herby, drowned. He was like the big brother I never had. I am
the oldest in my family, and always wanted a big brother. I could not wrap my mind around his death. It was the first time I realized someone young could die. It was also the first time I saw my dad cry. It was devastating and terrifying. I remembered the story of Lazarus we’d studied in Sunday School, and I prayed for God to raise him from the dead. At the funeral, I kept looking at him in the casket, waiting for him to sit up. And when he wasn’t resurrected, I decided prayer didn’t really matter. But I was too scared to stop praying, because if things like this were happening when I prayed...what the heck would happen if I stopped?
[SLIDE 4] “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to God’s will, God hears us.”
More years passed, and I kept praying...out of habit, out of fear, out of desperation. I had some prayers answered and some seemingly denied. Yes, I went to church, sang about God’s love and power, and sometimes I felt it. But looking back at that period of my life, I didn’t really trust God. Oh, I believed in God, without a doubt, but I didn’t trust God. I didn’t think God was on my side. I started to rationalize that if I was “good” my prayers would be answered. I tried to be perfect (and always failed miserably). And deep down, I feared I didn’t deserve to have good things happen to me, because I wasn’t really a good person. Can any of you relate? Do you try to be “good” so thatGod answers your prayer? Has there been a time where you decided God wasn’t working for you? Perhaps you’re questioning whether there is even a God listening? I get it. I’ve been there,
because I sometimes look for God to be my personal genie.
For so long, I looked at prayer as something I did because I needed something. In moments of desperation, I thought I could maybe trick God into answering my prayers. I started to pray by numbers. First, I would butter God up with compliments. Second, play the humilitycard, you know, where I’d confess my sins and talk about how unworthy I was. Third, play the love card: tell God how much I love Him, followed up by more compliments and thank you’s. Fourth, pray for someone else, so you don’t seem selfish! Fifth, get to the good stuff: vomit up whatever request you have. Sixth, throw in a “Thank You in advance” drenched with a few more praises. Then cap it off with the holy number Seven: “In the name of Jesus” andpoof, you have prayed the perfect prayer!
Never did I see prayer as a conversation. I never considered God a friend. I did not realize prayer was a way to fellowship, commune, to have a relationship with
God. Maybe you all knew this a long time ago, but I was well into adulthood before I understood this. You see, in my formative years, God was a god of vengeance and retribution. Yes, we were taught that God is love, but that love had limits, and if you ticked God off by doing something wrong, you would be so sorry. How many of you were here a few weeks ago when Jonathan preached on working out our salvation with fear and trembling? Boy, I wish I had heard that message as a child! For those of you who weren’t here, shame on you! I mean, here’s the gist of his message: that a more accurate translation of that verse is to work out our salvation with reverence,
awe, and profound expectation. That is good stuff!
I grew up, afraid of God...trapped by manyyears of bad theology. And then one day, my sister told me about a church that had a pastor with a message of love and acceptance. Where you feel like the pastor is talking directly to you. So I went to First Baptist Church of Crown Heights and heard Rev. Clarence Norman Sr. preach, and that was where the seed of a God of Love was planted and grown. I know you thought I was going to say Forefront, right? I’ll get to that soon!
Each Sunday, Rev. Norman would preachabout God’s love. His philosophy was that the world beats up on us enough during the week, so when we come to church, we need to be built back up. After hearing his messages, I started to believe that God
was in me, with me, and for me. And my relationship with God took on a whole new dimension. I started to enjoy my conversations with God. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t go all Joan of Arc and hear God’s voice audibly.
[SLIDE 5] “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to God’s will, God hears us.”
So...how do we know when our prayer is within God’s will? How do we pray when there's something we really want (or don't want) that may not be in God's will? How do you pray when you don't know what you or the person you're praying for needs?
Perhaps the key is to let go of the “Santa Claus” mentality. God is not making a list and checking it twice before considering
your prayer. Nor does God need buttering up. What if God isn’t going to give you that dream house? What if the thing you feared most, comes to fruition? Will you still pray? What if something good happens to you, even though you did something wrong? Perhaps it is time to look at prayer differently.
How many of you tuned in to Jonathan’ssermon last week? [Raise my hand] Did any of you just raise your hand at home? I really hope so! Anyway, last week, he talked about how just the act of praying changes the chemistry of your brain. That the thalamus stops being binary, and that part of your brain that divides, puts everything into categories, actually stops trying to create so much certainty and ends up strengthening the rest of the brain. And here’s where discernment comes in. We stop seeing simply black or white, right or
wrong. We start seeing God working through every area of our life. Rick Warren defines discernment like this:
[SLIDE 6] “Discernment is the growing,prayerful ability to recognize and respond to the presence of Christ in all things, big and small.”
Rick Warren
[SLIDE 7] “How is prayer responding to God’s presence in all things?”In a few minutes, we are going to practice prayer. I’m sure this may bring a little anxiety to some of you. Prayer can be intimidating when we make it too complicated. We freeze up, and don’t know what to say. Let me let you in on alittle secret...we don’t have to know what to say. We can just say whatever is on our mind. Sounds simple, right? So why do we sometimes struggle with it? I think it’s
because we forget that God’s presence iseverywhere and that we can pray anytime, anywhere. That’s right, we can pray about anything.
When you wake in the morning, whether you think to yourself, “God I’m so tired” or say “Thank you Lord for another day,” that’s a prayer. When your child gets on your last nerve, and you ask for strength not to lose it, that’s a prayer. When that same child reaches out to hold your hand and your heart just about bursts with love and you can’t help but whisper “Thank You” that’s a prayer. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve been praying A LOT! I would like to encourage you to start actively praying. How do you do that? Just try checking in with God throughout the day. Try telling God “Good Morning!” Or thank God for making it to work on time (prayerfully, we’ll be able to do that again
soon). “Hey God, I need Your help.” is a prayer. So is “Lord, what should I do? You don’t need flowery language or to say something profound. Just open your heart, be honest and talk to God. Share your fears, show your flaws, tell God about your victories. Eventually, it will become easier to find the words. And each time you pray, you usher in God’s presence.
[SLIDE 8] 1. We can feel God’s presence as a friend
Remember my prayer by numbers
earlier? Have you EVER in your life had a conversation with a friend like that? “DearFriend, thank you so much for being my friend. You’re terrific. By the way, can you give me $50? Thanks Again!” (Then you don’t talk to them again until the next time you’re broke!) I REALLY hope not! When you pray, remember God is your
friend. Don’t treat God like your personal genie, who you only talk to when you need something. Like I said before, talk to God daily, and not just about something you need.
I am constantly talking to God. Just little conversations...random thoughts...I like to check in a lot. When something good happens, I send up a word of thanks. When I’m not sure about something, I ask for guidance. When something frustrates me...when I need an attitude adjustment...when I feel guilty about something I did, I check in with my friend, Jesus. And you know what happens? I feel less alone.
This is hard for me to admit...I struggle with anxiety (nothing to be ashamed of, lots of people have the same struggle). What’sembarrassing for me, is that my anxiety is
usually expressed in anger. My first reaction to any adverse situation, no matter how small, is to get angry. Sometimes, I’m able to keep it in check, but it’s always just below the surface, threatening to bubble over. I find that when I haven’t been praying, it gets harder to manage. In fact, while writing this sermon, I started to get frustrated. I started to question my abilities. Who am I to preach about this...what was I thinking? I could feel the bubbling. You know I did? Yep, I started drinking. NAH...I closed the laptop, and prayed. “God, please help me. Why am I so scared? What do you want me to say? How can I help reach someone who really needs to hear a word from you? Why are things so crazy right now? Is this happening because Trump is president? Is my daughter going to be ok? How will we pay our mortgage if this keeps up? Are things ever going to return to normal? Help
us God. Heal us God. Help me to trust You.” I started to calm down, the weight in my chest started to ease. I don’t know how to describe it...when I pray, I feel an expansion in my brain...and an energy surrounding me. I am comforted, grounded and open.
[SLIDE 9] 2. We can feel God’s presence in the silence
So when you pray, after you have voiced what is in your heart, take a pause and listen...be still...be open. Be willing to step into unchartered territory. To step out of your comfort zone, and embrace the unknown. Wait. Prayer is a conversation, where we can voice our fears, frustrations, desires. Where we can celebrate our victories and express gratitude for blessings. But if we don’t stop and listen, make space for an answer, we’re not
having a conversation, we’re doing a monologue. It’s in our silence the conversation begins.
So how do we hear God answer? For me, it’s more of a feeling, a whisper, a
release. It may be an “Aha” moment that comes to you several days, months, or even years later, in the form of a person or an unexpected opportunity. Sometimes the answer is thrilling and sometimes, it’s painful, disappointing. Now what? What do we do when we don’t get the answer we want, or even worse, when we hear nothing at all?
[Slide 10] 3. We can feel God’s presence,even when we are in doubt
From time to time, members have come to me and said they have to step away from serving because they are struggling with
something. I totally get that, and absolutely advocate taking time to heal or deal with a situation. But I also firmly believe that, when you’re going through something...that is the time to lean in, to embrace your commitment to service even more. We could have thrown up our hands and just cancelled services altogether when the Roulette had to close its doors, but we knew there was a need for Sunday service more than ever. When you’re scared, unsure, or even angry, nothing helps more than prayer.
[SLIDE 11] 4. We can feel God’s presence in times of grief
How do we find peace in a time of difficulty and grief? You guessed it...prayer. On Aug 2nd, 2013, I went to Macys with my brother to pick up a suit we’d bought and had altered for my wedding. My hubby-to-
be and one of my sisters met us there and we spent a few hours buying odds and ends, cracking jokes and making plans for the wedding, which was a week away. We said goodbye at the end of the night and went our separate ways. The next day, I received a call from my sister-in-law, who was hysterical...she told me, my brother was dead. The shock and pain was unbearable...I fell to the ground, and all I could say was “Please God” over and over.And at that moment, crumpled on the floor,crying uncontrollably, I could feel God’spresence. My fiance layed on the floor next to me, locked eyes with me, held me and said “Babe, let’s pray.” Later, when my sister and I had to tell our parents over the phone what happened, my father prayed, and God’s presence surrounded our family. And that Presence carried my family through the dark days that
followed. We were able to survive the loss
of our beloved Cee, only son...only brother. We prayed as the casket closed and we said goodbye for now. And the day after his funeral, we gathered together for a wedding. Where we prayed, and God’s presence blessed our union.
As I started writing this sermon, I asked my husband, Pierre for his thoughts on discernment, and he said discernment is the development of a third eye that looks to God for an answer. We just have to be open to the way God answers. He said that adversity humbles and strengthens
us. And it got me thinking...yes...it humbles and strengthens...it breaks and restores...it disorients and redirects. So how do we get past humiliation and find strength? By surviving, by just waking up each morning and getting out of bed. Just surviving is an answer to prayer...the answer is in the waiting, in the surviving. In
saying “Yes” even when the thing you fear most has happened.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that it’s God's will for people to go through terrible things. I think one of the top questions people want to ask God is “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Have you asked that? I know I have many times, and I still don’t have an answer. But I do take some solace in Romans 8:28:
[Slide 12] And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to God’s purpose.
At first glance, I took this to mean everything works for the good of those who love God. But after digging deeper (and experiencing adversity from folks who clearly did not have my well-being in mind),
I realized I missed a key part of this scripture. That God causes all things to work together. So yes, bad things happen, but God is actively working to provide you with everything you need to make it through. And the comfort, the communion, the strength to press on, comes through prayer.
[SLIDE 13]
1. We can feel God’s presence as a friend2. We can feel God’s presence in the silence
3. We can feel God’s presence, even when we are in doubt4. We can feel God’s presence in times of grief
When I first came to Forefront, I was reeling from the loss of my brother, followed by a few years of turmoil. I was
broken, but I had hope. I was hurting, but I had joy. I had so many questions, but I trusted God. I was introduced to a young preacher who watered the flower of grace that Rev. Norman had planted and Jonathan challenged me to let it grow
wild. God became limitless. Did the loss and struggle still hurt? Absolutely. Did the questions get answered? Not really! (After all, we’re more interested in asking good questions than having all the right answers.) And that is more than ok. I have learned to embrace the uncertainty. To accept the unknown and to truly walk by faith, not by sight.
And now, almost 7 years later, I have the privilege of leading worship here. I get to share the love that has been shown to me. When Jonathan first asked me to preach here, I told him no. I did not feel equipped to preach. I was scared and intimidated. I
told him I should just focus on the music for service. That’s where I feel comfortable.
Then Rachel emailed me a link to a song she ended up singing last Sunday: it’s called “Open Space.” As soon as I started listening to it, I could feel God working on me. And by the time I heard the chorus, I was in tears (big surprise, huh?) The chorus says:
[Slide 14]
“My heart is an open space, for you to come and have Your way, I’m open...I’m open”
And with that, I agreed to be open and let God give me the words to say to you today. Yes, the answer to prayer is in the waiting, in going on, in spite of the pain. The answer to prayer is in being open, and letting God work through you, in spite of, or
better yet, because of your shortcomings and insecurities. The answer to prayer is not about what you receive, but how you choose to listen, and what you choose to give in return for that answer.
Yes, God might not give you that Barbie Townhouse, or that job you wanted or that person you thought was perfect for you, may turn out to be a big fraud. God will provide you with what you need. And through prayer, we can deal with the answer. We can walk by faith and not by sight. We can discern what God’s will is because we are actively talking with God and letting God guide us.
So this morning, we’re going to switch up the order of service a bit. I would like the band to come back and play “Open Space” and during this song, I invite you to post your prayer requests on this feed. If you’re
not comfortable having your prayer request posted publicly, you can send a personal message to one of our prayer team members on the link Makenzie has just posted. Let’s take this time to pray with and for each other.
[Morgan will start “Open Space” then rightbefore the bridge, I will pray this prayer of discernment]
[Slide 15]
Walk with me, good and loving God, as I journey through life.
May I take Your hand and be led by Your Holy Spirit.
Fill me, inspire me, free me to respond generously to Your call.
For I believe You desire my deepest joy, And it is only in Your company
That my soul will be satisfied
And my life will find its meaning and purpose.
Amen.
[Morgan will finish “Open Space”]